


You’re A Little Much For Me

by artificialmac



Series: Brooke Lynn Hytes and Other Residential Neighborhoods in New York [21]
Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Angst, Emotionally Repressed, Other, Self-Destruction, Self-Reflection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-02
Updated: 2019-12-02
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:48:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21639079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artificialmac/pseuds/artificialmac
Summary: Brooke is a fame whore with a heart of steel. Very bendy steel. Like very thin steel. Like super very thin and bendy steel.
Series: Brooke Lynn Hytes and Other Residential Neighborhoods in New York [21]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1382581
Kudos: 5





	You’re A Little Much For Me

**Author's Note:**

> Wassup. I’m drowning in school work and I’m going to die *insert finger guns*

Brooke knows how this ends  
Knows that she will never truly be free from herself  
Because she made this prison with her own hands

Her blood fills the floors  
Her ribs make up the bars  
Her heart is trapped inside

She knows this prison  
Knows it so well she has grown fond of it

She is let out once in a while.  
She is taken to a stage.

Allowed to dance  
Allowed to perform

Allowed to be free

She is admired and adored and envied.

And just when she thinks she could get used to this life, she is taken back.

She never knows why.  
But she is taken back to her cell and locked up without so much as a ‘thank you.’

But her captors all look like her  
And she knows how this story ends

This need  
This yearning  
This ache

To be on stage  
To be something  
To be bigger than herself

It was always an inch under her skin.

She needs this more than anything she could ever imagine.

She needs it so bad she might hate it.

But it is a weakness   
A guilty pleasure that paid the bills

She should be grateful   
Should be gracious and thankful and all the proper things one should be when they make a passion into a career

She isn’t

She is spiteful and angry and craving the next hit.

And it’s awful to think  
Even more awful to say  
But she doesn’t want this for the rest of her life

This pseudo-fame  
Because that’s what it is  
It is fickle and fleeting  
no amount of merch or twitter fans will leave a legacy  
Her whole world could come crashing down tomorrow if she let it

So she doesn’t let it  
She locks her heart in a cell  
Locks her fears in with it  
She thinks they are becoming friends

She keeps herself prisoner in her own head   
Who knows what could happen if she is let free.  
The last time it happened, she fell in love.

There was simply no other way for her life to go  
No other option  
She had to be on a stage  
Had to be the center of attention  
had to be somebody to people

Had to hold their affection for long enough to get something out of them

That something should be money.

At least that’s what her manager says  
He also says she needs to start investing and saving   
and that this can’t last forever

He is reasonable  
dependable  
correct

she hates him for it

she wants to be reckless  
live out the life she never got to experience because she was too focused on investing and saving 

She wants to self destruct and make people watch helplessly as she does it. 

But at what cost? They ask.

She doesn’t think about the cost anymore. 

It has already cost her a crown  
It has already cost her a check  
It has already cost her a lover

What more can be taken? She thinks.  
What more can be ripped from between fingertips?

She had the crown in her grasp  
Had the check almost to the bank

Had almost loved him

But then she didn’t have any of those things.  
She had herself  
And herself in a cage


End file.
